You're probably an asshole if...
You probably shouldn't judge people, but I can. Why? Because I'm very good at it.
Specifically, I'm compiled a very short list (which I will add to later) of comments one can that are indicative of them being an asshole. Please note, this is strictly a correlative relationship; saying these phrases doesn't MAKE you an asshole, it merely reveals you as THE ASSHOLE YOU PROBABLY ARE. These statements may seem innocuous, but they're not. Here's a few:
"I don't care if someone is white, black, yellow, purple, or polka-dotted..." Whenever someone uses ridiculous colors to describe people (purple, polka-dotted, etc.), they're usually an asshole. These statements are often elaborated into something like, "I don't care if someone is white, black, yellow, purple, or green, as long as they put in a hard days work. But, the problem with these Mexicans is that they..." See, now it's clear that the guy (or girl) is an asshole. But, I predicted (judged) this already, just by the content of the first sentence.
"I don't care what someone does behind closed doors..." This is similar to number one, and is usually followed with "... but there's no reason to do/show X in public." Probably an asshole.
"I just think..." People who say this kind of thing are usually A) Not really thinking, and B) If they are thinking, they're thinking of something that shouldn't be prefaced with "just." It's often like, "Now, I don't know about all of you, but I just think that it's ridiculous to call Christmas trees 'holiday trees'." That's a reasonable side to argue, I guess, but it does require an argument. This kind of "Aww, shucks, I just think..." bullshit isn't going to fly.
"PC" or "politically correct." The only time these phrases are used is as strawman for some self-avowed straight-shooter. Stupid shit like, "Now it may not be 'politically correct' (cue double-quoting finger gesture) to say that we should let kids carry Bibles into schools, but gosh darn it, I..." Notice the thing being argued against here (rules against personal Bibles in school) doesn't even exist.
I encourage you to leave any of your own in the comments!
On an unrelated note, Emily and I listened to Christmas carols last night, hung lights, and decorated our holiday tree. I'm all for removing any and all public/governmental references to "Christmas", but I hope people keep decorating (which I'm sure they will.) Even secular humanists enjoy lights, snow, eggnog, and carols!
And finally, check out this Python code I wrote today:
if not goodFeature:
badFeatures.append(feature)
I love code like that; Python's the best.
posted by Nate at 1:18 PM
6 Comments:
The “I just think…” I can hear coming from nonassertive well meaning people. I know some who, unlike me, aren’t willing to write someone off as evil and hence forth condemn all that they do. They for one reason or another have gained from their education a certain respect for other people’s personal sovereignty and feel uncomfortable offering other people advice. Whatever they say they will cloak it in something like “I might be wrong, but I just think you shouldn’t stay with someone because they are threatening to slam their head in a car door.”
“I just think” is similar to “I just feel”. It more often than not reflects intellectual laziness, which is too widespread to be the same as assholishness. They are a product of an educational system which no longer stresses character development. These people aren’t necessarily bad, they just shouldn’t be allowed to vote.
These people CAN become the worst kind of assholes though. The “dumb assholes”. The one’s who shout “No blood for oil!” or “Impeach Bush!” and take any number of other undeveloped visceral positions on either side of the political spectrum.
OH
2:42 PM
I think you guys are talking about two different uses of "I just think" as a qualifier. The Nate-disapproved, asshole-correlative version of the phrase is a device for insulating one's views from rational discussion. "I just think x. I'm not going to discuss it with you or take any counterarguments seriously. I just think x. Because life is precious, and God, and the Bible."
The asshole-non-correlative, Nerad-discussed version of the phrase is an expression, not necessarily of laziness, but often of modesty. An unwillingness to assert your position may reflect cowardice or insecurity: "I just think that 2 plus 2 is 4, but maybe I'm wrong and if you say I'm wrong I'll go wimper in the corner." Other times, it reflects well-placed modesty: "I haven't read all the literature, so I may be missing something big, but I just think that Kant is better than Hume." Its perfectly reasonable to form "I just think" judgments like these at intermediate stages in the learning process. Speaking confidently when one has no grounds to do so is bullshit, in the technical sense. Epistemically immodest persons who fail to qualify their positions when appropriate are the "dumb assholes" our hero speaks of. So "I just think" can either make a person an asshole, or save them from dumb assholehood, depending on context.
w00t.
Also, I'm interested in the proposal to condition voting rights on character development in a supposed democracy.
9:37 PM
That was CT, by the way, if that wasn't apparent.
9:37 PM
First-class functions: making programmers happy since 1962.
1:18 PM
“Well, I’m a libertarian and I think…” or “…as a libertarian…”.
Invariably an asshole.
OH
6:57 AM
Yeah, I agree w/ OH. I used to know this girl who prefaced every comment she made in class with, "Now, this might be just because I'm an English major..."
...yeah, it might. Or it might be because you're a stupid bitch.
IDHACH
(I don't have a cute handle)
5:44 PM
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home